Shar wakes up at 6:30 a.m. and spends the next three hours getting ready. She fixes her hair, puts on makeup, and her hospital uniform, or an outfit bought on sale or in a thrift shop. As a former model and fashion show producer, Shar wears whatever comes from her closet with flair.
She makes breakfast and feeds her dogs and cat. Three days a week she drives to the Rehabilitation Unit of an Oklahoma City hospital where she volunteers. Four evenings a week she takes two classes, back to back, at the YMCA –kickboxing and dance aerobics, or zumba and spinning. She grocery shops, does her banking, goes to doctor appointments, mows her lawn, visits with friends. Extraordinary stuff? You bet.
Shar suffered lifelong injuries in a horrific car accident when she was 18 years old. So horrific she was declared dead and wheeled to the morgue. An alert nurse noticed faint life signs. She was the only survivor of a wreck that claimed three lives. Shar was saved, but for what?
People who are paralyzed from strokes or accidents say she gives them courage and hope. She has “therapy cred,” earned the hard way. The accident occurred in 1968. For 42 years, Shar has been recovering, improvising, and compensating for her injuries. She spent 15 years learning to walk, another 15 years without the use of a cane or walker, and 25 years to talk well enough to be understood. Most of it was accomplished without professional help and by her own sheer determination. Today she lives a rewarding, independent life. (See http://www.aswedolife.com/shar---professional-encourager.)
Twelve years ago, Shar’s father died at age 90. As a way to deal with her grief, a doctor suggested she volunteer. “No,” she thought, “I can’t walk or talk well.” One day she went to the hospital where she spent six months after the accident to see if they remembered her. Staff members not only remembered her, but thought she might be perfect for visiting and encouraging patients.
Shar can relate to a patient’s problems in her own life. She has trouble with buttons and tying shoes. She compensates with Velcro, and clothing that is worn unbuttoned, like jackets. Writing is difficult because her right hand shakes, so she uses her left. Over the years she has adjusted to asking for help. “Try putting on mascara with your left hand!” she says.
She waves aside suggestions for increased safety measures that might limit her or ways to make her disabilities more easily explainable. “I’m not going to say, ‘Hey look, World! Open doors for me and be sure I am safe and sound. . . I do the best I can the best way I can. . . . I don’t want to set up barriers between me and the world, and always explain how I’ve been in a wreck.” Her optimistic and determined outlook keeps her going most, but not all, of the time. “Sometimes it (her situation) angers me so much. I have cried and cried and cried.”
Shar says it takes a different kind of courage to walk into a stranger’s hospital room and strike up a conversation. “It’s awkward at first when I start talking to people.” Dr. Patch Adams of movie fame is an inspiration to her. Encouragement from her friend Vivian Stinebeck sustains her. Of vital importance is “Spirit,” a part of her personal support group known as Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit. Through the many years of her recovery, They have blessed her with the strength and determination to live. “I talk to them constantly; 100,000 times a day if it takes that.”
Shar is intelligent and articulate. Before the accident, she aspired to be a lawyer like her parents, or a doctor. Her intellectual gifts serve her well in meeting and relating to all kinds of people with different life experiences. So does her sense of humor. Shar has a wardrobe of wigs and when a patient notices her hair is short one day and long the next, she smiles and says, “Anything can happen!”
Not every encounter on the rehabilitation floor is a success. “I have to deal with whatever comes out of their mouth, good or bad.” If a patient asks that Shar not visit again, a nurse tells them about her life or shows them a home-made booklet with pictures of the wreck and the story of her recovery from it. “They learn about me and then they ask me to come back.” she said.
When asked about former patients, Shar smiles. Her clear blue eyes light up and her face glows. It is obvious that returning patients are the best part of her job. They tell her, “I believed in what you said and it worked!” Or, “I did what you said and look at me!”
Her advice to anyone recovering from accidents, illness, or trauma is, “Believe positively. You will become what you think.” She is also fond of saying, “God helps those who help themselves.” The healing power of prayer and physical activity saved Shar’s life. She is now spending the rest of her life sharing that message of love and inspiration with others.
Shar's story written by Monica
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Shar (blonde) "hamming it up" Shar giving encouragement
with hospital employee. to patient receiving physical therapy.